Tonight I would love to share with you what has spoken to my heart today while I was doing my daily bible study. I love reading the word. I love learning about God and the love of Jesus. I love gaining wisdom and understanding. It's an amazing feeling really. You feel full, complete, loved. Though reading my bible takes discipline.. and a lot of it, at the end there are no regrets. I also try my best not to go through the motion of reading my bible. I try not to make it something to check off of my to do list but rather have it be something I cannot wait to get to do. Something I NEED to do because I feel incomplete without it. I'm not perfect, there are days that reading my bible (or reading at all) is the last thing I would like to do. Sometimes I just want to sleep, or watch TV, or blog about silly things. God continues to work in me though and he'll do so until the day that I die.
I want to say I have about a thousand bibles but the one I've been most fond of lately is one I received for free from a church we were visiting when we were searching for a 'home' church. It was simple, nothing fancy and maybe that's why I loved it so much. I've had study bibles before and a big one that was made of real leather. It cost me a pretty penny too. None have really compared with this one though. Maybe it was because it gave me a fresh start? Who knows.
This is a Martha Stewart spiral journal. It's lovely right? I loved it as soon as I saw it. This is where I write down some bible verses I'd love to remember and where I write down my prayers. I've never truly been able to sit down and just verbally pray. Sometimes I do it in the car on my way to work or on my way home but that's just to thank God for a brand new day or to talk to him about my crappy day.
The bible verse is Proverbs 14:1. 'A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands'.
Now I've read this before because it was highlighted, but I don't ever recall truly letting it speak to my heart. At least not the way it did today. Maybe when I was reading it before I was 'going through the motions'? I can't remember. Today though, it really moved me. I consider myself to be a wise woman.. but am I 'building' my home? I consider my home to be not just my physical apartment/house.. but rather my husband and my daughter. I would never want to tear them down. I do not want to be a foolish woman.
Though I don't think I am foolish, I still had to think of ways I could build up my home if I was not doing so already. I made myself a list (I love lists!).
In no special order here they are:
1. Organization - I would love to be more organized. I'd love to have my family come home to a nice, clean apartment in order to unwind and relax. Though there is much mess here I can blame Kayleigh (one year old daughter) for, I know the other half of the unmet tasks are all on me. I think It's going to take me a week to wash and fold everyone's clothes. Geez! Never will I let it get as bad as it has been.
2. Finance - We have nothing in our savings account. The little we do have is because I just a week ago decided it was time to start saving up for the rainy days. My husband used to be so good at putting money away. I'm not sure what has happened, but it looks like I'll be taking up the responsibility of our savings account. I don't mind. The feeling I have after I add money to our savings account is rewarding.
3. Spiritually - Though I read my bible daily my family never sees it. I do most of my bible reading at work since I have more time to sit and talk with my God. It's a bit hard to do so at home when I have this and that to do plus a one year old running around and a husband who keeps asking me where his keys are. This would be my main priority. I want them to see that I love Jesus and I am living my life for him. I want to have long talks about God with them. I want to read the bible with my tiny one. If I am going to build my home at all, it needs to be through our Savior.
4. Marriage/Husband - Last but definitely not least. My church is currently talking about marriages and I've learned so much. I've learned that without God there would be no happy marriage. Without God, there is nothing. I want a God centered marriage with my husband and I have been talking to him more and more about it. I'll continue to do so until I see a change. Yes, things are wonderful now. We love each other so much and respect each other to the fullest. We are what one thinks of when they hear the words 'perfect relationship', but there is little talk about God. We go to church twice a week but never do we leave talking about what we have learned. We have so much growing to do and i'm so excited for it all.
These are my ideas on how to build my home. I refuse to be foolish. I refuse to tear down my family. I love them very much and I'll do anything for them. I'm glad the Holy Spirit really talked to me through his word today. I learned so much from just one verse. It just takes one verse to make one work on a certain area in their lives. I love His word!
I also love checking this off at the end of my day. That and sweet tea before bed. (Yes, you read right. Sweet tea.)